Fuck Cancer

Fuck cancer. The life robbing, hellish disease has had a long enough run and I for one am done with it. I want to go an entire year without hearing that someone I love is fighting for their life against this brutal illness. I want to see my friends and family who are currently suffering go into remission and live full happy cancer-free lives. That is what I want. And so on September 21, I’m joining my family in walking not just to remember my Great Uncle Cameron, who we lost this year, but to help raise money for his son who is fighting right now. I’m walking to end bladder cancer but really I want to end them all.

I still remember the day my mum told me that she had cancer, I remember when she said it was stage 2 and we were lucky that we caught it early; stage 2 never felt early to me it felt like two stages too late. When she told me that she was going into treatment first I got quiet (this isn’t a thing I do) and then I cried because the mere idea that I could lose my mum was such a nightmare that I didn’t even want to think about it. That was the first time I really thought about cancer, I mean really thought about it, before that cancer had always felt distant. Cancer was a plot in a movie, it was sad and it could make me cry but it wasn’t part of my life… I didn’t have to worry about it. Until I did. Fuck cancer.

My mum was lucky she survived but being in remission often doesn’t feel like survival it feels like sitting in waiting room hoping against hope that the disease never comes calling again. Fuck cancer.

When I was younger we were never really allowed to see my Mum’s family, blame the bio-dad for that one, but in the past couple of years we’ve made a serious effort to repair those relationships. It was never my Mum’s fault, she loves her family and has always wanted us to know them better. Fortunately for me a lot of those relationships have flourished over the last few years; and I got to meet my Great Uncle Cameron and spend time with him before he died. Fuck cancer.

picture_281_3My Uncle Cameron was an amazing man and I am so glad that I got to know him. He welcomed my family into his home with open arms and many hugs; but if you ever met Uncle Cam or his wife, my Aunt Barb, you met love. I’ve never seen a couple more in love or more loving to the people around them; children, cousins, nieces, nephews and strangers my Aunt and Uncle are some of the kindest people in the world. Thankfully before he left us we got to enjoy Christmas dinners, he got to see my mum get married to the love of her life and I got to spend one excellent afternoon at a Blue Jays game with the entire family. Thankfully, because my life is so much better for having known my Uncle. If only we’d had more time. Fuck cancer.

Now cancer has come knocking at the door of my Uncle’s son and it feels so incredibly unfair. Fuck cancer. You shouldn’t have to watch cancer rob you of your father and then have to fight the disease yourself, it’s cruel. On September 21, I will walk for Randy and in my Uncle Cam’s memory. Because I’ve had enough of cancer. I’m done. Fuck cancer.

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